Updates (sorta) and other random shit.

It's funny how life is, you go through so many transitions, so many emotions and moods. When you think you've learned everything there is to know about a particular subject something new comes into play. A bit naive to think you could learn EVERYTHING about that ONE thing. The information we are feed is ongoing, each day something new is introduced. We are constantly learning, always growing and always discovering something new.

Daydreamer, ah yes, the little project that could, but unfortunately it's been going nowhere. I believe I've pointed this out before, but I'll reiterate. For any artist you have to be in a certain mood, a certain mindset to be able to accomplish your goal. If something is missing, out of whack or just not feeling right on your end you simply can't move on. From the beginning this was a very ambitious project, I had these crazy scenarios that I eventually took out of the script, even some that stayed that really didn't work the way I wanted them to. I've come to a point with Daydreamer that I just can't seem to finish.

I find myself opening up my editing software, waiting for the project to load and then simply staring at my monitor. I fiddle with this and that, make changes here and there, but nothing of significance gets done. It's frustrating as hell too. I want to finish, I want to move on, but at the same time I DO NOT want to half ass it. That is not and will not ever be the way I do things. On top of all the day to day bullshit in my life I just can't seem to find my inspiration, my motivation to actually finish. Who knows, maybe next month, maybe the month after a light bulb will go ding! above my head and I'll be able to finish, but for now it's official. Post-production on Daydreamer has been put on hold. There I said it.   Man I feel so much better now.

Pre-production on Ghost Story is coming along great. Only thing is I don't feel I should be in it anymore. To begin with I never had any thought in playing a part. The only reason I decided to is because the actor (who also happens to be a good friend) that I gave the role to was being increasingly flaky. It took forever to get him to do make up tests and even fitting into wardrobe, but we finally did it. Somewhere along the lines I dropped him (again for being flaky) and said I would do it. I swear I've lost count as to how many times this has happened. Thing is with the limited resources I have I just can't do it. I rather focus on directing and camera work. I have a clear vision with this project and to throw myself into so many positions will not end well. It didn't the last time and it won't now.

Besides this hair I've been growing has got to go. I feel a new me is in order, it's been far too long. Can you believe the last time I cut my hair was last July? It's not that I look awful, on good days I like the way it looks. Most days though it's a bitch and half. How in the f*ck do women do it?! Seriously. Maybe when I'm my own boss and don't have to look all clean cut and what not on a day to day basis I'll grow it out again. For now though I need something simple and easy to work with, not this big ass mane that I got going on.

The obligatory bathroom shot.

Oh and a quick heads up I may be looking for someone to play the role I was to play. I'm still seeing what I can do, if all else fails I'm just going to have to play the part. Here's hoping that I don't.

Besides everything else, it's difficult to say how I'm feeling. I'm going through a transition of sorts at the moment. ALOT has been going on these past few months in my life and I've been dealing with them the best way I know how. But I keep moving forward, always approaching my problems with the utmost care, an open mind and never forgetting that sometimes life isn't fair, that's a given. What is though? Life should be an adventure, lived to it's fullest each day. Yes it's very difficult, I can't say that enough, but if there is nothing you can do about it so be it. You can't control other people's actions, only yours. You start to consume yourself in one particular thing and that's all you know. Sometimes talking a step back and taking the time to survey the situation is mandatory. Just take it one day at a time.    

So here's to living each day like it's your last. God bless and have a great day.

Chris Jensen-Soto
Writer/Director/Artist
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3786598/